Almeida: Elegia, Op. 8

Description

There are different ways to experience the death of someone we love, and there are also different stages in the grief we feel.

I lost my grandfather on November 5, 2000. The sadness I felt is unimaginable, but the sudden longing caused me in the first moments a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts, between compulsive crying and uncontrollable laughter. in that chapel, I remember feeling my gaze lost in infinity and remembering, like a "flash", many moments lived together, great life lessons, hilarious situations, walks, trips, conversations and even arguments, the happiness at the birth of great-grandchildren, at the same time that my face relaxed for having returned to the past and rediscovered those moments that could not have been lost. However, all it took was for my gaze to focus on another point for me to suddenly realize that I would be faced with the unwanted subjection of having to learn to live with longing, and making memories the only and lonely way to replace his presence near us.

Ten years had passed since I wrote the Elegy. My grandfather is part of my daily thoughts and the stories I tell. But there is something inside me that is unresolved; because worse than losing a person, worse than coming to terms with the absence of someone who dies, is not understanding death. I do not understand death.

The Elegy was premiered by the Lopes-Graça Quartet, of which I was a founding member and played 2nd violin. That is why there are certain moments that I wrote for myself, so that I could be the one to share musically what no one else could feel for me. This piece is dedicated to my grandfather.